yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
