the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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