Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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