i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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