let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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