i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
