Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
