..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
