Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
