What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
