Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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