If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
