We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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