i came on her dog
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
