He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
