Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
