She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Text me some of your sweat
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