her vagine was all disorganized.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
