I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Randomize