He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you inspire me to be a worse person
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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