Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
