Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
