Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
