sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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