I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just want to make out with him forever
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
