And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize