at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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