dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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