The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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