the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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