don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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