I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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