Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize