im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
