I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
