I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
