Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
