it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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