Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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