I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
