I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
your room smells of hookers.
And success
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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