you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
A bitchslap is in order.
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