i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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