We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
