Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
