what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
