I have demons in me.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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