I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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