at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
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Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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