He kissed a someone with a penis
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it's like iHOP with fire
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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