Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i already hear my dad disowning me
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
