she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
