office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
