You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
