Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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