You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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