Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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