yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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