Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
