these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
