some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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