You just made me feel so damn special
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
