good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
